it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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