that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
