remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
