i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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