sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
