I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
