I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
