Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
