glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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