She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
