I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
