Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
