I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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