Sry I called you an 8
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
