i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
