i think my mom watched the whole time
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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