I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
