No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
