On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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