Apparently you make a good broom.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
