So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
