In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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