She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
