he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
