I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
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