You really coming over, don't trick.
She said her name was "party"
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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