So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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