Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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