Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
