Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
