we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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