I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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