wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
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