i permit you to call me
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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