idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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