Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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