i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
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