Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Randomize
