My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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