Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
ttyl tear gas
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
