so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize