I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize