Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
