I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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