No awkward lesbian experiences without me
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
