no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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