what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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