Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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