im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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