Tell her she can't have a vagina
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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