Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
