So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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