Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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