i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
