I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You were trust falling into bushes
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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