we have pet lesbian snakes
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
