I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
