summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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