i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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