I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
