That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
