I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
